Feeling Boxed In… and Remembering the Racehorse!
I’ve always loved horses… and though I’m not a gambler in the least bit, I’ve always LOVED watching a horse race. What excitement!!!
However, I will say that they’re not topmost in my attention these days… until just recently.
Several weeks back, we watched the movie “Secretariat,” which brought back my memory of why I loved those races! But I watched the movie, enjoyed it, then put it away in the movie memory storage of my mind.
(I know, you’re wondering, “How the heck does this relate to the spiritual world?” Patience, patience… I’m getting there…)
A few days after I watched that movie, my friend Linda sent me an email with a bunch of releasing that came to her for me relating to a racehorse (this is a daily occurrence back and forth for both of us – sending releasing and clearing information back and forth, that is). How odd, I thought… it’s not something I talk about in conversation – I don’t use horses in metaphors much – so I found it particularly funny that she had termed the clearing “racehorses”… especially since she had no idea that I’d just watched “Secretariat.”
I did the clearing, but I remember I felt a little perplexed as to the relevance of what was on my mind that day.
Fast forward to this week: I had HUGE upheaval in the way I saw things. It’s hard to explain, so I won’t try to here, because it really did have to do with an “argument” I had with my Guides and C (my affectionate nickname for Creator/Spirit/Source/God). Or, I should say, sort of a spiritual crisis… where I got very, very angry with them, and “turned off the faucet” most of the way for the day (now, THAT is a funny story for a blog in itself… but for another day).
Though I kept on clearing and releasing, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t get past a little bit of a funk… and it usually hit me in the morning.
So, this morning was exactly the same; I pondered on that, and through some further internal digging, I realized that all of it – even the little personal crisis I had this week – stems from the paradigm of being “shown” what is to be here on Earth on a large scale… and allowing it to unfold on its own. I’m excited for the awesome parts to begin; and I’m getting rather tired of waiting for it.
Don’t get me wrong; I haven’t continued on just WAITING; in fact, I have tried to move things forward in many parts of my life. However, it seems that the more I’ve been trying to move things forward, the more I feel like I’m banging up against a rubber wall. My whole household and my whole life feels like it’s at a standstill that I’m pushing to get out of: I’m trying to pull my husband by the hand through this exciting glimpse via the spiritual world (he nibbles, but as he terms it, I devour); I’m trying to counsel him through his dead standstill in his career at work; I’m trying to birth him out of his womblike “keep everything as it is” mode… and quite frankly, for a number of reasons, I’ve had the problems getting my non-spiritual work (I do have THAT business) done, so I’ve been stuck there, too, bouncing off the rubber wall I’m trying to circumvent and/or get past. And it seems that many people I know feel the same way, and have turned to me to help counsel them forward… which I do, and my counsel is rarely acted upon.
That in itself is all fine… but this big picture feeling – that I’m bouncing off a rubber wall, and can’t get out – makes me edgier and edgier…not just irritable; it makes me CRAZY.
And while I’ve been at this standstill, I’ve been getting in more and more information from our etheric brethren and C… more and more of the big picture. And yet, here I sit, in the rubber box.
I realized I’m getting tired because I don’t LIKE holding modes; I like moving forward. I DON’T want to be able to think that I will be doing the same thing, day in, day out, for every day, every week, every year. I love the excitement of the game, I love rollercoasters… that’s why I understand I’ve liked it here, through this existence on 3D Earth.
I was writing an email to my above-mentioned friend Linda… and before I knew it, I realized I was using the racehorse analogy! Funny, I thought… I haven’t even thought about horses much until suddenly over these past several weeks. Here’s what I wrote, barely even realizing what I was writing at the moment:
I’m like the racehorse at the starting gate. I can see the track; I’m pumped up to run, but I’m in the @#$#@ gate, just waiting for the bell to ring. And I’m getting really, really antsy, because I JUST WANT THAT @#$@ BELL TO RING AND THE GATES TO OPEN, ALREADY!!!
I stopped, my fingers paused over the keys, while I read that back to myself… and suddenly, everything started to gel together, to form a picture.
Then came that nudge… and so I just tuned in, and asked what it was I was trying to see. In C’s perfect, loving way, I saw the whole thing in a flash; here’s the translation, in the way I heard it:
This is the last stretch of wait for you; you’re in the gate, and the bell IS going to ring – at any moment, or you wouldn’t be in the gate. The race is taking you to the next existence – the trophy (for all to receive) – but it is so comparatively minute to the rest of the Earth existence that it will feel like the wind as it flies by.
The racehorse spends its whole life preparing for the race. It is fed the right foods; it is groomed a particular way; it practices and practices, exercising and running – on different kinds of tracks, in different types of weather, with different riders. The rider does the same – eats a certain way, exercises, rides different horses, learns the horse and how to merge with it. It’s all practice, so when that gate opens, the horse and the rider, as one, know EXACTLY what they need to do together to run the race. The race is merely seconds or minutes… but preparation for those seconds or minutes have taken the entire life of both… and when sitting in that gate, the horse is just raring to go, to let its body be the master of the wind as it has learned – practiced – to be, and its rider is strategizing the course, feeling the turns, considering the weather conditions, the track conditions, and many, many other considerations. This isn’t second nature – it IS their nature.
You have spent lifetimes upon lifetimes upon lifetimes – and versions of that through different planes, as well – through this existence. You have gathered such experience just for the last part of it all – the climax of the story, and opening the doorway to the next existence. You have been at the gate, remembering (after you made yourself forget) all you have done to prepare for these mere moments, the moments of the race. Yes, you love this part; you know it is worth it through every existence in which you partake, regardless of how many lifetimes, iterations, or whatever is the deciding measurement of the existence. You love the race; you are in the gate and want to utilize it all – all the preparation – for the thrill of those moments on the track, on the final stretch.
This is why you are antsy, irritable at what you perceive is your limitation – the gate – and you literally feel boxed in. You need to remember that it is because you are in that box that you are the most on edge… you know the exhilarating freedom – the run – all that you have been working for, is about to begin. You feel the anticipation in the air; the moments before the bell and before the gates open.
Instead of letting this take hold of you, you must take hold of it. You are in the final moments of remembering what you’ve done, and why you’ve done it. Instead of skipping through the gate, utilize it to the best and highest way. Make the gate – the holding period – an experience in itself. You can do that without laying down and going to sleep – without losing your focus and your drive – but while the anticipation grows and grows – just a bit more in these final moments – feel all of you. Feel your connection to it all; feel all – from your perception – that you have behind you and all that you have before you, above you and below you, inside and outside of you, as you perceive the apex of the moment it all melds together, to the moment when the gate opens through the moment when you cross the finish line – actually yet another starting line – to the next existence. And that will make the experience even that much more fuller, much more fulfilling.
What a beautiful – and perfect – picture! And it just feels right… enough so I can get my butt out of bed, go work out, and get on with my day!
Enjoy every moment, and appreciate the magnificence of it all today, every day. The bell is going to ring soon, and then the REAL fun is going to begin… and this next, awesome part is ready because of all of the preparation we have all done! 🙂