Welcome to this amazing phase of transformation!
The end-of-year holidays were VERY different for me and in perceiving those around me in 2015; I felt like our HUGE shift came in November, and December was us “taking care of business” that became front and center, whether the ego wanted it to or would have rather let it go until after the holidays (and then diverted from something else).
Here’s the good news/bad news (because there is no difference): There is NO GIVE from the higher self anymore. Those of us who have been doing continuous self-focus and expansion – just as those of us who haven’t done anything – are all being hit with what’s the biggest, most pervasive and limiting behaviors, situations, and beliefs we’ve had left. These are the things that the ego has become MASTERFUL at hiding… these are the things that are so embedded into our identity (ego) that we often don’t even see them within ourselves because they’re like gravity – so there that they’re invisible. And we scratch our heads in consciousness, because we “think” we’ve taken care of “it” – we claim we have – but it persists, or often comes screaming out of nowhere, where we feel like we get blindsided upside the head… with a cast iron skillet.
However, it’s because of how deeply embedded in ourselves that these limitations exist that we can’t simply say “Shazam!” or wave our magic wand and they’ll go away… or ignore it anymore and blame our shortfalls on something else. This causes HUGE frustration and expectation by the ego, because the ego is now backed into the corner, with no way out, and it MUST at this point open its eyes and look in the mirror to move out of that corner… which is falling away… so time is short!
NO MORE, says the higher self. It’s game time; we’ve been screwing around with this long enough. Want to really hike up in vibration? THIS is how.
Time to go through than to try to circumvent (which we only do when it feels extremely uncomfortable, and it’s a HUGE HONKING NEON SIGN for us to look at straight on!)… the test for our self is, can we go THROUGH it, straight on, in FLOW? This is the muckiest part of who we are.
I’m not saying it has to be hard – nothing “has to be” anything, it’s the ego’s perception of something being hard that creates it – except that the ego most typically PERCEIVES it to be hard… because this is “the thing” that causes it to kick and scream and PANIC.
In the very, very wise words of Doug Adams: DON’T PANIC!
Yet, whatever transpires is the last place that it seems to flow… and that’s why it’s so, so, SO important for us to allow that.
For some, it’s practiced now… I did it, and the present to myself for it? Seeing a bigger piece of the bigger, most out-of-this-reality vision than ever… because I could now look at it without fear, or with so little that I could mop it up easily as I go.
For many – even some of the most advanced practitioners I know – in denial (and there’s a LOT of denial, especially right before this) – the higher self is saying ENOUGH. TIME TO MOVE ON. And guess what? The very “explosion” – and often ensuing chaos – is put in place to FORCE us to let go of it. Our fingers are essentially being peeled back from the edge of the cliff… so we can finally allow ourselves not just to remember to fly… but to DO IT.
Here are some examples I’ve seen via friends, family, clients, and students:
- Someone with deep, deep self-loathing issues that have been habitually masked throughout life via the attention gained from others finds themselves in a situation that pushes them to finally be on their own, with plenty of time for the mirror, to finally learn/remember how to love themselves;
- Someone with lifetime (and beyond) issues with self-sacrifice and an identity around over-responsibility crashing through a situation where no matter what they try to do to remedy a situation for others (having to do with spouse and children)… it all seems to get more and more mucked up, until they yell, “UNCLE” and have to fess up to the whole situation to allow everyone to help take their own responsibility in the situation, to free the person up to pursue their own true soul purpose;
- Someone with a lifetime (at least) of an identity and self-esteem built around being the leader in “knowing what to do” and counseling others… in a situation that is so uncomfortable because it shows their insecurity on actually standing on their own, in their own truth, until they can’t divert the attention of others away from it anymore… and are pushed to admit their own issues and do something about it, and even asking for assistance themselves;
- Someone stuck in a pattern of self-validation through sacrificing the self and instead distracting themselves with helping others to an extreme degree becomes inflicted with a chronic illness that prevents them from helping others at all, and in fact has to ask others to help them…
And it goes on from there (quite a number I could recount from conversations/sessions in the past month alone)… these situations cause us to feel as if our hand’s been forced to finally deal with these core parts of ourselves, because it all breaks and falls down around us… leaving us with our Truth, to look at, to accept, embrace, and love, once and for all.
It’s powerfully transformational… and the equivalent of The Tower card in the tarot deck: All that doesn’t serve us is falling away… and it’s ALL that doesn’t serve us, whether the ego likes it or not, once and for all.
Through this process – leading up to the explosion (whatever it is for the individual) – there’s this preparation process, like the ego sees the huge, mammoth waterfall and realizes “I must let go of everything unnecessary to survive this” – so it starts letting go of stuff that it previously clung to, but is NOT actually the big cahuna. “See? I can throw this overboard… I don’t need this anymore… SEE? I’m better now… why can’t I steer away from that waterfall?!?!?! Here, I’ll look at these things now… throw THEM overboard, I didn’t really need them… How about now? Wait, WHAT? Am I going to survive? Wha…. AAAAAGGGGHHHH!”
SPLASH (or explosion)
And then – believe it or not – RELIEF.
So, some have already gone through that… many are going through the “lightening up the load” period… some are flat out in the freefall of the waterfall. My advice is to BECOME the waterfall. Surrender. Breathe. Stay centered. DO YOUR SELF-FOCUS (meditation and energy healing on yourself) EVERY DAY… There are so many AWESOME tools of remembrance to allow us to flow through it… learn how to use them, if you haven’t already… you deserve it!!*
There’s nothing to fear with this process; in fact, as difficult as it may seem when the ego is involved… it’s something for us to celebrate, individually and collectively! After the waterfall, we’re in a pool of beautiful, clear, calm water, where we can just flow with the current expertly and begin to remember how to enjoy the ride, even in new terrain. SO much easier!
Through the “throwing stuff out of the boat” period, many will often go through any or all of the following (thanks to Laurel Ley of Dragonfly Unleashed for the list):
- Uninspired and disillusioned/sick/loathing of the 3D
- Judgmental of self and others (which, of course, is from self-judgment… all back to the self LOL)
- Physically exhausted… OR having trouble sleeping – one extreme, the other, or one to the other
- Rehashing and bashing the self for “past” issues
- Sad, deflated, defeated
- Trapped (again, around having to “be here”)
- Ugly, fat, ________ (physical loathing)
For me, the last three weeks of 2015 was my “self test” of the waterfall, and I was flowing in it with/for the collective as well as for my self… for here and now and across the Universe, across dimensions, across many iterations. It was deeper and I peered directly into and sat in more darkness than anything I’d felt before, with no words, and yet was pushed to remember love there; I did. I followed my guidance, and for most of that period, I existed outside of space and time and just let it flow. It was a great time for my husband and kids to be home on vacation, because they kept me anchored here while I was predominantly “out there”… and I’m SO thankful, because with that, it was the only way so much could pass through for me in such an intensely short period, so I could see what I can see and am preparing for today. Every time I allowed my feet to “touch ground” here, I might experience a piece of the above, but only in moments… and then I’d take off, be in a place of observation again, and float through just fine. I finally “hit ground” on New Year’s Eve… in time for this next wave of visions to start. And thus, an ever bigger flow – because that’s part of my purpose – of this information coming in. My bandwidth has increased exponentially (including in the 3D changing our Internet provider and upgrading our connection on January 4th… how representative!), and now I’m figuring out how to allow it all in and still function here in what’s left of the 3/4D.
I feel like many may not have gotten there yet and will be getting there shortly, but I know for sure time here on this plane is SHORT for resolution! So, if it hits you upside the head – or rather the heart – like a cast iron frying pan… Surrender. Breathe. Allow. If all you do is sit and BE in meditation/self-focus time, that’s fine… and even if you don’t see or feel anything, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING. I promise you, if you continue it consistently (by the way, the ego sometimes “turns off” or “blocks” feeling to then convince us that nothing is “happening”… so that we stop doing the self-focus, with the ulterior motive of continued avoidance, which ultimately makes it worse).
Why all of this? You might ask. So we can fully step up into WHO WE ARE and WHO WE CAME HERE TO BE, and truly SHINE! Because it’s time. There are some unbelievable things coming into play that I had visions about 3-4 years ago… I mean, really, truly unbelievable and just completely out of this reality. I thought at the time my mind was trying to decorate… I was working regularly together with a friend and we saw some really, really out there things. What came to me starting on New Year’s Eve was the realization that what we saw 3-4 years ago is in play; and what we saw – especially one truly, unbelievable thing – has literally shown up at my doorstep (no need to go looking for it), right under my nose. Never in a million years would I have really believed it to play out as we saw it, but I’ve been having very, very 3D experiences combined with non-3D that are just… incredible, for lack of better words. And like I said earlier, had I not gone through all of this with such tremendous fluidity over the holiday weeks preceding… I may have easily been paralyzed by the realization (yes, even a month ago). It’s THAT big. And now… since I’ve been the darkness with the collective, as the higher consciousness, and seen it all resolve there and within me, I’m accepting of it.
So… flow on. REALLY. Do SELF-FOCUS, EVERY DAY. Nourish yourself; love yourself. LET YOURSELF SEE – straight on – AND LOVE THE DARKNESS WITHIN (simply separation personified) AS PART OF THE WHOLE DIVINE YOU, because it’s only then that we can dissolve it in our embrace. You know all of these “special classes” with “activations” so many are talking about? Essentially, it’s already a natural part of this process, and it’s already inside of you, already accessible by you… however YOU let it play out. Let yourself come first; and realize that you’re worthy of that, just as you are! Things are changing, and it is SUCH a beautiful symphony playing out! Learn to really listen to your higher self… and to TRUST your own guidance, above all else.
Game on, everyone… I love you all! We’re being actively called on to a completely new playing field now, as leaders in the center of all of it! So OBVIOUSLY, is serves us to be as clear as possible, to best be able to flow through to help move to a completely new game! Boo-yah!
In love, laughter, magic, and the remembrance of ascension,
*There’s a 6-hour class I’m teaching ONLINE over three weeks (Monday, February 8, Monday, February 15, and Monday, February 22, 7:30-9:30ET each night), called Self-Development via Divine Consciousness, which gives you a number of useful tools to help you with all of this, and fully conscious creation of your reality. Follow the link for more information and sign up today!