When Surreal Becomes “New Real” (NM Road Trip Revelations II)


Since my return from my road trip early last month, I’ve had many people ask me, “So, what would you say are the two or three biggest takeaways from your road trip and retreat in New Mexico?”

My answer: “Only two or three?!”


Well, in order of magnitude, I would say my post from 5/12/11, Reminiscent of Close Encounters (NM Road Trip Revelations I) covered the top takeaway – it still feels so overwhelmingly huge when I think about how many people I met there from around the world have been having the same experiences, getting the same “messages” as I’ve been getting, especially since 2009… and though we all had such a broad mix of backgrounds – from corporate professionals, engineers, math teachers, and the like across the spectrum to those who have been doing body and energy work for years –  with just as a broad a mix of timelines, it seems that everything is starting to come together… and we’re all getting to the same place.

That actually seeps right into what I would term “Takeaway #2″… and I’m still a bit more hesitant to talk about it; it’s a little more challenging to explain without going into some really far out stuff…

There are whole stories I’ve “seen” and journaled with fervor, including future occurrences and future existences. In fact, these “visions” have been gifted to me with such clarity, such vividness – and such detail, in some respects – that I’ve repeatedly told the few close enough to me with whom I’ve divulged some of these stories that either my subconscious is so brilliantly putting together the most creative, complex, yet beautiful story I’ve known (putting J.K. Rowling to shame), or there has to be some credence behind them and from where they’re coming.

So, even though I felt like I believed what I saw and what I experienced… there were still many holes, and I think there was still a part of me that questioned. I could see a Before and After – some days, some pretty far forward After – and it is some phenomenal stuff. However, what prevented me from sharing much of it was that I didn’t understand the transition and how we could possibly get there in so relatively short a period of time. It was surreal.

When I sat in that 2-day retreat with Kiesha Crowther (aka Little Grandmother), I just listened to what she had to say for 2 days with an open mind. On the second day, she went into the “further out” topics that they tend not to post on videos online. I can’t even explain what happened, except that I guess I must have simply been soaking it all in like a sponge, saving it all to process for the road afterwards. Because that’s what happened, that evening, on the 2-hour ride to my cousin’s house outside of Taos.

I remember how edgy I felt when I left… in a good way. Like I was on the brink of something… but I had no idea that as soon as I started driving, I would almost hear an audible “click, click, click, click, click, click…” of all of those disparate visions I’d been having, as they connected together into a much more complete story.

If I was ever going to spontaneously combust, it would’ve been that evening!

Here’s what was so huge, so absolutely tremendous: That all of that discussion – the more “woo-woo” stuff she had talked about – perfectly filled in all of the blanks to connect the dots between the pieces and parts that I had already seen from my perspective.

Deep down, I think there was a piece of me that started jumping up and down and yelling, “OMG! OMG! I’m REALLY sane [OK, mostly… LOL]… or there are many others that are part of my psychosis! It all makes sense!”

Soooo… now I know what you’re going to ask: “Exactly WHAT is it we’re talking about here?”

Well, you know, THAT will take a lot of typing… so I’ll just give you something to give you an idea of what I mean without having to provide all the details:

When, at 40, I realized that much of my emotional upheaval when I was a child – and subsequently, the purpose of me purposely shutting out emotional connection (the other extreme) came from overtly empathic causes – I started working to unbind all of that which I had bound for all of those years, and I finally accepted connection with others as part of my reality.

When I was in my early 20s, and started getting periodic prophetic dreams… once I started understanding when I’d had one of those dreams and I began to understand and decipher them, I stopped calling them surreal and just accepted them as part of my reality.

When I was in my early 30s, and started having “visits” from those who had passed over… once I started understanding when that was happening (or had happened in a dream), I stopped calling the experiences surreal and just accepted them as part of my reality.

When I started having visits with the expanded Universe of Beings, including spirits, ascended masters, angels, archangels, and other Beings… I learned the Highest and Best way to commune with them, allowed them to help me to “remember,” then watched as short-term events I was “shown” come to pass…. and I stopped calling the experiences surreal and accepted all of that as part of my reality.

When I started working with herbs and plants and felt their rhythm and how they assimilate so easily with us, then found I could connect in easily with all the creatures in the natural world… and that in their own way, they would provide messages to me, always at the right time and place… I stopped considering that surreal and accepted it as part of my reality.

When I was a child – pretty early on, maybe about 5 or 6 – I remember being sent to Bible study class when my father took my sister and me to church, and I remember thinking to myself – but never saying out loud, for fear of some retribution (after all, I was a mere child) – and being ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that in actuality, Jesus had come to show everyone that we ALL could do what he did, and that we could do ALL of it… including the facilitation of healing with our hands. At 40, that memory came back to me when I learned my first energy healing modality – Reiki – and felt that awesome, golden, powerful energy flow through my body and out through my hands… and I knew the recipient felt it too, I realized that it felt completely natural… hands-on healing facilitation. And I stopped considering that surreal and accepted all of that as part of my reality.

I could also tell you about many instances of instant manifestation that keep occurring more and more… and now that they occur more and more, I no longer consider the experiences as surreal, but accept them as part of my reality.

So what do I mean by this, and how is it relevant to the topic?

Well, if you break down the word surreal – specifically as 2 parts, it literally means to be above or beyond real. When does that happen? When new experiences enter our consciousness – things we have never experienced before, that are completely new. However, once they become commonplace, our perspectives shift (shift happens! LOL), and they become our reality.

I now expect that I am always able to automatically connect heart-to-heart with others; that I can almost immediately see projected timelines or the cause of an issue; I expect to feel the Universal energy connecting through me when utilizing various healing modalities; I am confident that I can help others facilitate healing – all healing – within themselves with simply the direction of energy and love; I love communing and communicating with nature and Light Beings of all kinds, across the board – the more varied, the better – to better understand what my eyes don’t always see… so it has all become an expected part of my reality.

Taking all of those phenomenal pieces into consideration, I’ll tell you that what I’ve “seen” – all that connected together for me via my trip to New Mexico – right now, in this moment, still seems surreal to me (so you know it’s a BIT out of the ordinary!). There are some huge, exciting changes to our existence that are starting to happen right now, and even more yet that are coming our way in the very near future. Much that has been hidden will soon become uncovered; much that has previously caused trepidation and fear will soon be understood, and then joyously accepted.

How do I know? Well… I’m considering the track record thus far, and would say the odds are pretty solid. I’d also say that once I sat and sponged in all of the “missing links” that were as surreal to me as the information I had received myself… well, that was the validation I needed.

What fun!

But you want details, you say? What fun is THAT? Dig deep down; do the work yourself… and you’ll realize that you know, too. Because this is for all of us; more and more things that have been surreal are now becoming more and more commonplace… and will soon be the new real, period.  🙂


Reminiscent of Close Encounters… (NM Road Trip Revelations I)


From the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"

There’s just SO MUCH to cover about my road trip to New Mexico, that I COULDN’T WAIT to get started! This topic is VERY important for many, soooo, here I go; but first, a couple of things that are relevant to this posting, so bear with me…

Throughout my life, I have had cumulative but gradual experiences of opening up spiritually and intuitively… while I was working in the very left-brained corporate world, and then developing my own business. It was much like the exponential curve on a graph… a new type of “ability” here, a new one there…wait for it… wait for it…and then BAM! In 2009, I fell open like a book. Seriously! I tried to keep it separate from my professional life, but the more I went on and explored it… the further I opened up… and the more keeping those two parts of my life separate clashed and caused conflict. Consequently, I’ve finally accepted the inevitability… and this is now the focus and calling to which I’ve submitted, and enjoy it very much!

When I say opened up, it’s really an understatement. I started “hearing” thoughts, knowing the complex line of events to be in a moment’s contemplation, found it very easy to learn and practice energy healing, and also connected very easily to ascended masters, angels, archangels, and others of the Light (and then directly with Creator, especially once I learned ThetaHealing). About 6 months ago, I also started “connecting in” with other Beings – those who many might call “aliens”… but I simply call them Star Beings or Beings.  Those with whom I’ve connected are truly of some of purest love I have ever experienced. Regardless, here’s the thing: No matter how fantastic or out there something seemed when I was “told” it was highest Truth, it has always come to pass, in one way or the other.

Then, though I honestly never asked, last year I started receiving images and snip its of things to come, not only regarding the role I “signed up” to play, but also regarding Earth-level humanity.

Contrary to what many of the fatalists seem to want everyone to believe, it’s not about Doomsday at all…it’s absolutely phenomenal and beautiful! Is there drastic change involved? Absolutely… but change is how you want to perceive it; it can be your personal hardship or it can be your liberation! Much is very foreign as to how we’re living today… so I’ve been very reticent to share much of the insight I’ve received, except with those closest to me (though I admit, I’ve even held back some of the information from my husband – one of the most open-minded people I know – and I’m just finally feeling comfortable to share it with him NOW) . It was because of this that regardless of the amount of self clearing and healing I did, the fear of being considered a freak or judged obviously remained.

It also seems that often when I’m speaking with someone about this, and tell them that EVERYONE can do this, EVERYONE has the same ability, it just needs to be remembered… that I feel the person’s retraction, that the smile they give me is empty (“Yeah, sure…”).

So, it’s been only very, very recently that I’ve started becoming more comfortable openly discussing and utilizing my uncovered “abilities”… though there has still been some reticence unless it’s in discussion with those I know are already comfortable with the topic. However, in regards to some of the “bigger ticket” items – the humanity stuff, how I’ve “seen” the world in 1 year, 2 years, 5 years… I’m still very hesitant to share some of the details.

I was introduced to the messages of Kiesha Crowther (aka “Little Grandmother) in early 2010; hers was one set of many different visionaries and metaphysical presentations to which I had become exposed. Though I absolutely agreed with much of what she said, I never felt much of a “pull” to meet her in person or anything… until I kept on getting guidance in meditation (and then my friend got the same message to give to me) that I was to meet her. Without more of the story, all ended up pointing  right now to this workshop/retreat last week that ultimately decided my road trip to New Mexico.

Besides it feeling right, I had no idea why I was going. I was assured in meditation that it was important for me to go to this; I had to trust and accept it. I was also guided into deciding to drive the trip… because I was assured that it was all as much in the journey as the destination.

I figured, “OK, then. I guess I’m going.”

Though all of this processing happened three weeks before the event, and seemed impossible to pull off, it was amazing how easily and relatively perfectly everything fell into place, how the pavement in the road just became laid out before me. I was assured that if I just jumped off the cliff and TRUSTED, I would fly.

And so I did.

There were just so many things that worked out perfectly: when the 2-day retreat fit in, how long it would take me to go and get back… and how that fit in to the only week that I could possibly have done this in the entire month, how the weather was PERFECT the entire trip (sandwiched into difficult weather patterns and issues around the country right up until the week right before I left), how all the plans that I almost made blindly worked out perfectly in synchronicity. Too much to explain here, but you get the idea…

I had NO idea what to expect when I got to that 2-day retreat in Santa Fe… but I was definitely in for the ride!

So. To the point: It was fabulous. Beyond belief. First of all, for all of my neutrality about her beforehand, I will say this: Kiesha Crowther is the most heart-centered person I have met. She is completely, 100% dedicated and authentic to what she’s doing… and she FEELS it completely. As soon as I was in the same room as her, my heart chakra just naturally spread wide open, beyond measure!

Also, what was absolutely amazing: She covered topics that connected the dots to much of the “further out” information I have received and didn’t quite understand previously. The funny thing: I didn’t even realize that was happening until the end of the 2 days; then it was like a barely audible “click, click, click, click…” going on, and I was amazed… because this was information I had barely shared with more than one or two people. Yet it seemed to come out of her mouth so naturally, and confidently. And suddenly, so much I had seen and had previously been puzzling over made sense…. just from her filling in some of the gaps.

In discussing all of this, she felt it important to impress upon us that it’s time to be brave; to overcome your fears about what other people think about you. Let that go; be your authentic self, proudly, 100%… because it is time to spread the news of good tidings and love in contrast to so much of the doom and gloom that’s out there. If your calling is to help others on their spiritual path, then embrace it boldly, fulfill your heart’s purpose… and don’t worry about others; because (as her tribal grandfather would tell her), “It’s none of your business what other people think about you.”

In attendance was somewhere between 80-100 people – it was definitely a full room! What was absolutely amazing, and the ultimate purpose of this post: In talking to those around me, during breaks and during lunch, I found that my co-attendees had traveled from Canada, Europe, Hawaii, Japan and the four corners of the country to attend! Many had the same “pull” as I had – and had allowed the journey to flow, as I had, as well. I met one man who had left his job in Quebec and had been traveling around the country, visiting and exploring, for about a month, figuring out where he was going to settle. I met another woman who packed a tent – like me – and had camped her way from southern California. Yet another had just gotten to the United States from Sweden – by herself – and after the retreat, was going on to spend 2 weeks exploring… and playing it all by ear.

I felt like almost everyone I met was in one form or another a reflection of me.

Another woman I met had been in the same career as me – corporate marketing – for 20 years, and had just quit “that world,” because she’d felt this one pulling at her. Right now, she was looking to move, to start a new life, and move over into the spiritual realm because it had been a growing part of her life. It was funny I had just randomly decided to sit down next to her, in a small circle of people, during lunch one day! Yet another was still coming to grips with her “Awakening,” because she had been a Math teacher, and a very black-and-white person… until she started “knowing things” that just came to her, along with a huge slew of abilities at once. She still had a challenging time talking about it without tears coming to her eyes… she’d tried to ignore it until a car accident put her out of commission for a short period of time, during which she started seeing a psychotherapist… who, after several months of therapy, told her that she was simply going through a spiritual Awakening.

Another woman, from Long Island, NY, was going through a transition period and deciding her direction. Several men I met were still trying to figure all of this out in their lives, too.

Many, many had been getting guidance to move to another location, including specific areas on where to move… coincidentally (though there are no coincidences), Kiesha had mentioned several times during the 2 days that if you learn to put the ego aside and truly listen to your I AM self, that it will always steer you in the highest and best direction… because it’s there for YOU. So, the point she made specifically: All of your answers are within YOU. If you’re guided to move elsewhere, then do it. If you’re guided to change your vocation, do it. Even if it might seem surreal and out there, if you’re sure it’s from your higher self, then TRUST in yourself. You will understand the rest as it plays out. Now is the time… follow your guidance!

See the pattern?

When we talked to each other, we just started blurting out things that many of us had largely kept to ourselves… because we were getting the same messages, seeing the same things. I found by the second day that I was speaking comfortably and openly about topics that I hadn’t been able to even approach with most closest to me.

It reminded me of the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind… with so many people getting the same message, heading in the same direction (though no one I met – to my knowledge – had been sculpting landmarks in their mashed potatoes or sculpting mountains out of mud in their living room… but then, I never did ask! LOL).

I felt more comforted and supported – and felt the most camaraderie – with this group of people I met in 2 days, halfway across the country, than I have with many of those I’ve known and who have been in my life since what I call my “Grand Awakening,” in 2009.

I finally found my footing.

Upon the closure of the retreat, many of us chatted and hugged… and surprisingly few of us shared contact information. You might think it’s strange, with us all having so much in common, but it didn’t feel that way in the least… because it truly felt like we would find each other again, at the right time… and we knew we filled the purpose we were supposed to with each other, for the moment.

Times are changing… more and more quickly. This world is morphing into something even more phenomenal than it is… and now I’m FINALLY in full acceptance of me and how I can help.

If you’re reading this, and have felt uncomfortable with remembrance of your natural abilities, of your Divinity, and your calling during this awesome time in the history of our world, then here’s my message to you: You’re not alone; far from it! In fact, you’re in great company…there are many of us, in rapidly increasing numbers, stepping out, remembering who we are, accepting a “new” reality, a “new” way of doing things, around the world. I promise! I’ve seen it; I now see it happening, all around us.

So, let’s go! Geronimo! 🙂

PREFACE to my NC to NM Journey: Launching Off the Cliff


“Change yourself to change the world around you; not just in small ways, but large ones. Make a new you – become who you really are – and your new existence will follow..” ~Krishna

The quote above came to me by the ethereal blue master himself, in meditation not just two weeks ago. I honestly haven’t had a lot of “connection” with Krishna in the past; my first experience was through a guided meditation in my Shamballa Healing class in early fall of 2010 (see my page on Krishna under the Angel Guides/Ascended Masters section). But in the few times I have experienced a “visit” from him, I find it comparable to conversations Alice had with the Caterpillar in Wonderland… I feel like I should take a puff from the hookah pipe…  but the words are very meaningful and perceptive!

Anyway, to the point: I’ve felt like I’m just on the verge of a “next step,” but treading water. A little frustrated at the treading, I’ve been searching for the root of the cause.

I’d been waffling on whether or not I should go to New Mexico, to a 2-day retreat with Kiesha Crowther, aka Little Grandmother. Now, there’s a little side story here that leads into all of this, that definitely feeds in…. Though I’ve known of “Little Grandmother” for more than a year now, and I generally agree with much she has to say (I’ve seen several of her Webcasts), she wasn’t necessarily someone I felt compelled to meet in any way. I mean, it’s been great to see her Webcasts, as a reinforcement to many of the “messages” I’ve been receiving (as well as quite a few others I know); but, that was all. If she had a presentation scheduled in my geographical area, would I go to see her? A definite maybe.

However, sometime around the Fall of 2010, seemingly out of nowhere in meditation one day, I heard that I was going to work together with the woman called Little Grandmother. I was like, “Hunh?” It was repeated, and I heard some more; I journaled it, but I was quite perplexed… because I otherwise felt no tie to her. So, I basically shrugged it off after writing about it in my journal… and forgot about it for the time being.

Sometime around the holidays of 2010, it came up again in meditation, completely blindsiding me. Again, I was like, “What? I don’t get it…” So I did the same thing; I journaled about it and filed it away for later reference.

I never mentioned these messages to anyone.

Shortly after the holidays, early on in 2011, a good friend (another who is very involved in spirituality and healing) and I were “chatting” online, and seemingly out of nowhere, told me, “Do you know the lady they call ‘Little Grandmother’?” After I answered yes, she said, “I’ve been ‘told’ to tell you that it’s important that you will meet her and do some type of work together.”

Even with all that’s happened over the past year-and-a-half, all of the synchronicities… I was shocked. I laughed, and it was then that I told her about the messages that I had gotten before then. At that point, I was actually able to “see” a meeting with her, one on one, sometime in the near future… as friends. I told my friend about it… but then, for the third time, I filed it away for later reference.

The fourth time was the charm.

Yet several months later, in March, there my friend and I were, “chatting” online again, and she brought it up. “You know… I’m again getting the message that you should try to meet that woman Little Grandmother, now vs. later. I understand it works positively either way, but laying the ground now will be very helpful in some way, later.”

I remember sitting at my computer, and reading her comment. I think I literally rolled my eyes, because I felt like, “OK, OK!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! What’s up with this?!” We went back and forth about it; without a lot of further detail, I will just say that a series of subsequent conversations resulted in the conversation that pushed me into looking at Little Grandmother’s Website… her event calendar… and the listing for this workshop in Santa Fe; it was the ONLY event listed in the United States for 2011, and in the beginning of May.

So, in the midst of  many, many other events going on in my life – 2 businesses, and an endless stream of goings on with my family, many loose ends I had been trying to tie up to move forward  – I considered going to New Mexico.

At the same time, I thought it was a little off the wall to consider… maybe even crazy.

I asked, “Am I just trying to put off the rest of this?” Though my mind tried to say yes, my heart actually felt just the opposite; that if I didn’t go, I would be letting the mundane, day-to-day semantics allow me to  put off something inevitable, something that for some reason is supposed to help me finally move forward.

So, this debate was going on within me. When I asked in meditation, I felt this inexplicable push towards going. It made absolutely no sense logically; yet it felt pure and honest… and right.

It was then that Krishna popped up while I was in my “floaty” state in acupuncture that week (I do ALL kinds of astral travel when I’m pinned on the table in acupuncture… I get some of the CLEAREST visions there!); I was navigating through a complex maze of an existence that wasn’t here, but I knew it – it felt familiar. At one point, I was standing on a terrace overlooking this very busy city, in this foreign “land.” Suddenly, from next to me, I heard, “There is nothing that says you must stay on the path to get to where you’re going, by following its twists and turns… following the rules that we all have made.” It was then I looked towards the voice and realized that it was Krishna standing next to me; and thus, at that moment I realized that it was Krishna’s dimension/Universe that I was “visiting” – the same one I had seen last year, when I had “visited” for the first time in Shamballa class. He looked towards the destination I sought, and continued, “To get to your destination, you can simply decide to plow straight ahead, in the simplest and quickest way possible. Create your own path; it is completely your choice, in your control.”

And so I did, to finish what I realized was my exercise, before I came back to here and the end of my acupuncture session.

Subsequently, in meditation, I kept on getting signals about the trip being a huge turning point for me, starting the “next phase” – whatever that is – and that I would get to the same place down the path eventually, either way… but that this would be much more of a “straight line” to get to where I desire to go.

So did the same friend who had gotten the “messages” for me.

Three days later, I went into meditation with a completely different intention… and there was our blue-skinned friend, with more enigmatic words of wisdom, including those introducing this post.

Though I had decided I would find a way to go, plans seemed to start forming on their own in my head. It was only about 2 weeks ago that the thought popped in, “It might be a consideration to drive out to New Mexico…” This was yet another completely foreign thought to me, as I’m typically the one to get from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible.

However, as soon as the thought crossed my mind, other plans started falling into place. Places I’d want to stop, people I’d want to see, things I’d want to do. I looked at my calendar; out of the entire of month of May, the week surrounding the 2-day retreat was the only week I could manage to take such a trip.

Though I have asked a few people if they would like to join me, it really was half-hearted, because I generally feel like this is a journey I’m supposed to take on my own. Quite a few people have marveled that I would consider doing this by myself; however, I wonder why I would even consider doing it any other way! This road trip is giving me the opportunity to find myself… or more accurately, get away from the day-to-day energies of the mundane to help me find out who I’m becoming, about what it is that is I AM as I start to push my way out of the transformative cocoon into which I figuratively entered not 18 months ago, as I began all of this all-intensive work. Without going into further detail (probably about 5 more blog posts worth), there are many, many pointers and messages telling me that I’m on the edge of the cliff, about to leap off into the swan dive necessary to enter a great new adventure, the next phase of my life; however, I don’t yet know what that looks like, how that translates into our world, except that it is to help and empower others while helping and empowering myself.

And so, in 2 days I am embarking upon something rather uncharacteristic of me: I’m packing the car and hitting the road, 2/3 of the way across the country. On a literal journey – a road trip – to help me begin whatever it is that awaits me around the bend. However, right now I’m not focusing so much on the end result as the journey – something I often overlook – to experience every moment as its own, get everything I can get out of every moment, and spend some time with me.

I will be on the road with my laptop, and undoubtedly prone to blogging along the way (maybe even video blogging)… so stay tuned. Because, as they say, the journey is often just as important as the destination. And, for some reason, I feel like this is the case for my road trip… and that it will be important to share.

What am I expecting? I am completely thrilled to tell you… I don’t know. What do I expect from meeting Little Grandmother? Really, nothing. For all I know, all of the “messages” were just put there to get me to go. There are so many things I’ve been shown will be related to taking this trip, though I have no idea how… and so, off I go, giddy for the adventure, ready for just about anything.

But it will be fun, it will be refreshing…. and somehow, someway, I feel like this will help me along my way, give me some clarity, and give me the little push I need off the edge of the cliff to spread my wings and fly!