Looking at What Weighs Us Down… So We Can Continue On WITHOUT the Weight!


Most recently, I’ve been working on releasing “all that’s still weighing me down… and preventing me from attaining/maintaining the path of my ultimate soul’s purpose.” Funny, consistently, I’ve been getting clearings on my throat chakra (and I was thinking, “Um, yeah… because I don’t COMMUNICATE enough?!” LOL).

Yesterday, during meditation, while in the Trinity Energy, I had set the same intention, and was taken to an older looking ship, wearing this beautiful velvet cloak (and funny I’ve been seeing myself wearing such a cloak in meditation for the past few weeks… literal translation, “cloaking” myself with this beautiful adornment…as a distraction); I was walking along on the ship and saying to the crew, “Where is she… it’s time to let her out!” and I noticed that it changed to, “It’s time to let ME out!” I found this hatch, opened it, and there was a young woman, in her late teens/early 20s looking out at me, scared. I told her it was time, and she jumped into me… and then eleven others – other “parts of me” – came out and jumped into me, also ( (I’m pretty sure it was a total of a dozen, that 12 magical number). My light body EXPLODED…and I just sat and expanded, expanded, expanded.

Then, part two of my meditation, I went to a remote healing/energy work circle that I’ve joined where we go to an etheric place that’s been created for us to “meet” to do work together every Wednesday. One of the women there looked at me, and I knew her as a sister… in the beginning of the session while I was there, she sighed, reached out, and said, “Here, let me remove that for you…” I was like, “Hunh?” And realized she was removing thread that had my mouth stitched shut.

Yesterday afternoon, I had an energy share with someone (when two practitioners get together and do a session on each other), and when I received, I set the same intention. THAT was where we got to the core of the matter! Both of us saw pretty close to the same thing: a part of me that I’ve yet to step into fully, because of fear, resistance, discomfort… and I basically had an argument with my Higher Self about it (“Isn’t this ENOUGH? What does it matter?” etc. etc. etc. – it sounded a lot like some of the arguments I’ve had with my teenagers! LOL). I was reminded of my soul’s purpose… of which this part is – I GUESS – pretty important. There was enough resistance that tears began to flow.

So, after that, a client came in for a session; I always talk about how AWESOME it is to do energetic healing facilitation work for a living, because EVERYTHING we do and have presented to us in our lives is a reflection in some way, shape, or form of something inside of us… and thus, I always set the intention that for whatever I work with clients to clear, to simultaneously give me the same, for whatever my version of that would be! Anyway, we went from some fairly topical clearings to diving off of a completely unexpected cliff into a HUGE core issue that hadn’t been uncovered for her before: All of her trust issues were based on a deeply covered belief that she had at some point been “abandoned by God,” as if God were separate from her, and as if there was a possibly of that… And this person had never consciously recognized that, but everything literally stopped short in the session until we uncovered, worked on, and cleared that.

It was huge for her – cleared a lot in her energetic field instantaneously, and subsequently, I was hit with a etheric 2×4 as I suddenly realized, OF COURSE. There’s been SO MUCH I’ve cleared over the past several years in relation to an understanding of part of my soul’s purpose that I haven’t shared (and it was much of what I was arguing with my Higher Self about)… I thought (always key: “thinking” vs. “feeling”) I had cleared everything around it. Nope; I skirted it! After the session, when I reflected on the resolution I had received myself, I could see the fingers of hesitation I’d had weaving through much of the history, the knowledge, what I’ve been told and what I’ve remembered about the story I’ve agreed to tell (which includes the book I’ve been getting pressed to write, since of COURSE it all ties together!)… and why and how that residual hesitation was based on a deeply embedded level of unhealed distrust. In that moment, I understood the need to be at the level of complete surrender – to my Divine self, to the Divine beyond that, and how I needed to be COMPLETELY resolved of this resistance to move on. I can now see all of the spots of distrust that existed, how cleverly I’ve masked it from myself until now, how I’ve gone about 90% of the way, but have held back on that other 10% – the MOST IMPORTANT 10% – and why. It was SUCH an incredibly powerful clearing for my client… and it turned out, for me, too! BEST part of the job! LOL!

Last night, I held an online Trinity Energy Progression share with some remote practitioners. Shared updates, questions, etc… and then broke off and did individual remote sessions together, one-on-one. When I received, I didn’t even set the intention I’d been using; I simply set it to receive what is highest/best for me at the moment. I didn’t share any of what had been going on with me with the person giving to me prior to the session. And yet… the practitioner saw me in this beautiful landscape, at the top of these humongously tall trees, at the edge of a bird’s nest… getting ready to “leave the nest”… and to fly. On my end, as I received, I saw a whole bunch of people in Halloween costumes, with masks and cloaks on (funny, about the cloak thing)… I was in the middle… and took my mask off, shed the cloak, and stepped away from the rest, forward, into myself fully… and expanded, expanded, expanded into this incredibly huge Light Being.

When I went to bed last night, I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so completely nurtured and comforted as I fell asleep. I had some wonderful experiences in my dream state, and feel AMAZING today… and ready to take it ALL on, as I’m allowing it to all come together now… I’m pretty sure… I thought so before, but again, had masked it from myself.

The reason I’m writing this here is because it’s a perfect example of sometimes when we THINK (always the key, thinking instead of feeling) that we’ve reached an endpoint, a goal, etc… how there’s always more. If we’re still here in the physical, there’s ALWAYS more!  The further we go in releasing and clearing ourselves, the more skillful we can actually get at repressing and not looking at something that makes us uncomfortable, because it really, truly gets to the core stuff. However, regardless of how skilled you’ve gotten at NOT looking at something… you ALWAYS give yourself messages about that which you’re repressing/not looking at! With me, one of the keys has been additional physical weight on me that didn’t make sense as to why I’ve retained it, since I’ve been working out regularly, eating healthy, being healthy, etc. I kept on hearing the term, “weighed down” (yes, we do that, too… lots of “funny” puns in our physical stuff that comes up), and I’ve been utterly perplexed at to why… because I love what I’m doing, I love every day of the week, I LOVE my “work” (which is more like play to me)… but that weight has been my physical reminder that I was hiding something from myself, that there WAS something that was still “weighing me down” and preventing me from getting to the “next level”… thus, why I finally said, “ENOUGH of this… time to LOOK AT IT STRAIGHT ON, ALREADY!”

And I guess I’m ready now… forward movement again, out of the bird’s nest… deep breaths… one, two… soar!!!!

When it gets overwhelming, a little bird will tell you…


The other day, a friend of mine asked me, “How is the world for you now, since you’ve discovered all of these Awakened abilities and done all of this work over the past year?”

My first thought: Huh? YEAR? Hasn’t it been DECADES?  LOLLOL

However, here was my answer: “It’s a completely different world – so much more beautiful and poetic, so MUCH MORE, period! But here are times when I just feel like there’s just SO MUCH for us to do, and on the fly, as things speed up faster and faster!”

At the onset of learning and fine-tuning energy and spiritual work on myself and others, I really thought that the more I learned, the more in control of the bigger picture I would feel.

I was wrong.

Today, there are days and weeks when I thankfully put it all aside for a breather, because I get…  well, overwhelmed. And I find that if I let that happen, it bleeds quickly from the spiritual level into the physical level, and then I get panicked about a million things (that don’t really matter).

The other evening, I had gone into one of those panic modes for a little bit. I ran to the store to pick up a few simple things, and in the store, it was like I suddenly had a whole bunch of stuff mucked up, and I started getting anxious. Thoughts, worries, and doubts that were really pretty ridiculous started running through my head; it only took a few minutes before I could disconnect, observe those thoughts, and think, “Wow. Chill out. It’s all fine and good!” That quieted the mind down for the moment, but I still felt like I just had the anxiety at bay – not eliminated.

When I got home, in the dark (this was at about 9:30pm), a young bird – which turned out to be what’s called a nuthatch (though I’d never seen this interesting looking bird before) – was “running” around right on the driveway, acting really strangely. It ran under the car, and then sat there, looking like it was hurt in some way.

My husband got it out; there was a thought about putting it in the bushes or something…but I said no, leave it there. So, he and my kids went in the house.

However, I couldn’t get myself to leave the bird.

Initially, I also didn’t want to get too close, so I stood about 3 feet away from it. I was still a little in panic mode, though I didn’t realize it at the time. The reason I didn’t want to get too close? I was afraid, though I recognized not of the bird. Once I realized that consciously, I decided to put the thought aside and study it later; then I tuned in, and got that it was hurt… but there was something else. It wasn’t necessarily going to die, though I understood it could choose to. It would look like it was asleep… then it rolled on its side. At a certain point, I even thought it was dead.

Without even thinking about it, I kicked in to Theta Healing mode, and started communicating through Creator – to the animal’s Guide. Next, it felt right to bring in some Arcing Radial healing – and next thing I knew, the center of my back was radiating coolness and love, and I could feel several of the archetypes of the Divine Feminine circle around the bird – Mary, Mary Magdalene, Quan Yin, Isis, Woman of the Woods (it IS one of her creatures, after all!). Almost immediately after I started the Arcing Radial, the bird suddenly righted itself and looked at me, looked up into the tree, almost backwards, then looked at me again. It walked backwards a little bit, forwards, looked normal, twisted its head oddly, and then sat down and went to sleep, right there in the middle of the driveway.

Suddenly, I did something that was the MOST interesting thing I’ve experienced thus far: It was like EVERYTHING came together at once! Arcing Radial, Reiki, Shamballa, Theta, the Violet Flame – it was ALL ROLLED TOGETHER, like there was this POWERFUL ball of energy coming out of my hands and projecting over to the bird, who still had The Ladies with it. I was simply the vessel; I could feel that energy pouring through me and then over and into the bird, while at the same time, I was observing the Arcing Radial and… just everything. For an undefined period of time, I realized the feeling of being All One… because there was no separation. The Ascended Masters, the bird, the energy, the driveway, me…. we were all the same.

I have no idea how long I was out there in the dark with that bird – maybe 30 or 45 minutes. Finally, I heard Mary say to me, “You’ve done all you can do; we’ve done all we can do. The rest is up to this beautiful creature, but it has shared its message.”

And then I was fine. I went into the house knowing the bird would be fine either way.

As I learned, nature speaks to us all of the time, sharing messages we can choose to understand or ignore. So, after going back into the house – my earlier angst almost completely forgotten with the wonder of what had happened on my driveway – I looked up nuthatch as a totem message, and here’s the message that nuthatches share with us:

The grounding of spiritual energies along with faith and trust in the spiritual and physical.

The next morning, when my children, husband and I were leaving for the beginning of the work and school day, I looked up, down, and all around my driveway and even into the street, to see if that interesting and sweet bird had passed on during the night. However,  there was no sign of the nuthatch. I mentally thanked it for sharing such an experience and message with me and went on with my day.

A little later, I was reflecting on that entire evening, and  I realized that that my anxiety and initially not wanting to get too close to the bird was simply the fear of not being “good enough” to fix everything that can be fixed.

I realize I am. We all are.

THAT’S what we all need to remember… and practice.